Understanding your feelings

How you might feel

It’s normal to have mixed feelings when treatment ends. You might feel:

• relief that the treatment is over and that you can now focus on things you enjoy doing
• hopeful about the future
• isolated and nervous, like you’re losing a safety net 
• lonely if your relationships have changed, or people don’t understand what you’ve been through
• fear and anxiety around follow-up appointments, scans and tests 
• worry that the cancer is still there or will come back
• anger and frustration at your cancer experience 
• discouraged that you can’t do everything you were once able to do. 

It is common to feel low or depressed after treatment ends. You may feel like your life is different from before cancer. Some people wonder if they will be able to work again and whether their family will cope if they can’t earn enough money. Sometimes you may feel down for no particular reason.

Noticing how you are feeling may help you understand your feelings better. Remembering ways you have coped with difficult situations before may give you some strategies to cope with your emotions.

To learn more about your emotions after cancer treatment, see Living well after cancer.

After my treatment, a psychologist explained that it’s common to feel like you’ve had the rug pulled out from underneath you. Knowing that, and how normal it is, helped tremendously.

David

Finding your "new normal"

Finishing treatment doesn’t mean life goes back to how it was before cancer. Many people find a “new normal” over time. This may not happen straightaway, and that’s okay. Some ways to help you find your new normal are listed below.

• Keep a journal – Think about what matters most to you. You may find it helps to write down how you’re feeling in a journal or to ask yourself what makes you feel fulfilled. 
• Prioritise self-care – Make time each day to do something you find relaxing or enjoyable. This could be reading, listening to music, spending time in nature or taking a bath.
• Look after yourself – It may take time to get used to changes in your body. Do things at your own pace and rest between activities. Remember, your body is still healing. If you are worried about going out, ask someone to go with you.
• Take control – Look at ways you can manage your own wellness. Ask your GP how they can support your nutrition and movement, perhaps by referring you to a dietitian, physiotherapist or an exercise physiologist. 
• Clear your mind – Complementary therapies, such as relaxation, mindful meditation, yoga and massage, may increase your sense of control, decrease stress and anxiety, and improve mood.
• Talk about your emotions – Share any worries with family and friends, your GP, a psychologist or counsellor. You can also call Cancer Connect on 13 11 20.
• Seek support – Connecting with other cancer survivors may help you understand how you are feeling. Join a support group, attend a survivorship program, watch survivorship videos or read stories from other survivors.

Fear of the cancer coming back

It is common to worry about the cancer coming back. This is called fear of recurrence. Most people are likely to experience this fear to some degree. 

Some people describe it as a dark cloud or a shadow over their life. It usually fades over time, but can return at certain times, such as:

• before follow-up appointments, tests and scans
• when you are feeling unwell or have symptoms similar to those when you were first diagnosed
• hearing media reports about cancer, new treatments and celebrities with cancer
• seeing cancer-related fundraising campaigns or advertisements
• seeing cancer-related social media content
• noticing different or new symptoms or general aches and pains.

Talk about your fear with someone you trust or your GP. It may help to see a psychologist or counsellor as well. Your GP can refer you to one.

Some people feel anxious about returning to activities they used to do before cancer, or they worry about being around people in case they catch an infection. Talk to your cancer care team or your GP about what is safe and manageable for you.

To learn more, see Fear of cancer coming back.

When to seek help about your feelings

It is natural to have days when you feel sad or worried. Depression is more than feeling down for a few days.

Talk to your doctor if you:

• don’t want to do things you used to enjoy
• feel very sad and low most of the day, nearly every day
• begin to rely on alcohol or drugs
• worry that you might hurt someone
• think about self-harm or taking your own life.

Anxiety and depression are quite common among people who have had cancer, but there is no need to face this experience alone. Talk to your cancer care team or GP whether counselling or medication – even for a short time – may help. Beyond Blue offers support on 1300 22 4636. For 24-hour crisis support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. You can also call Cancer Connect on 13 11 20 to talk to a qualified professional.