Providing practical support

Carers often provide practical care. This can include cooking, doing household chores, driving the person to medical appointments, making the house safe, and helping with personal care.

But remember you don’t have to do it all – there are many support services that can help. The availability and wait times for services may vary depending on where you live, and some services will be free but others might have a cost. Talk to the treatment team about what support services are available below. You can also talk to family and friends about ways they can help.

Preparing meals

Treatment can weaken the body’s immune system, so it is important to follow good hygiene and food safety practices. Wash your hands with soap and water before preparing food, and take special care when handling raw meat, fish and chicken. If you are feeling unwell, ask a family member or friend to prepare meals instead.

You may notice the person you care for is experiencing changes in appetite or difficulties chewing and swallowing. They may feel nauseated (with or without vomiting), or they may have mouth or throat sores that make it painful to eat. Cancer treatment can also change the taste and smell of food.

At times, the person may not be able to eat even their favourite foods. While you may want them to eat well, focusing on their appetite can increase their anxiety, so gentle encouragement is best. 

Nausea and poor appetite can last for several months after treatment ends. Talk to the treatment team if you’re worried about weight loss. A dietitian, doctor or nurse can provide advice on a suitable eating plan and medicines that can help manage side effects, such as nausea or sores in the mouth.

For more information, see Nutrition for people living with cancer.

Managing the home environment

If the person you are caring for becomes unwell or frail, you may need to help them make changes to their home to make it safer for them to do everyday activities, care for themselves and prevent falls. This may include adjustments such as moving furniture to make access easier, removing loose rugs and other tripping hazards, putting handrails on the stairs or in the bathroom, or putting a chair in the shower.

Talk to the occupational therapist or physiotherapist on the treatment team about aids or equipment you may need and options to buy or rent. Examples include:

• hospital beds, pressure mattresses or lift chairs
• commodes, over toilet frames, bedpans and urine bottles
• bathing equipment, such as shower chairs or bath boards
• mobility equipment, such as 4-wheeled walkers, pick-up frames or walking sticks
• carts with wheels to carry things.

If the person you’re caring for needs help to get into or out of bed or a chair, ask a physiotherapist to show you how to do so safely. They can suggest equipment or techniques to help the person move.

You may also have to take on other family responsibilities, or arrange for someone else to take them on. These may include caring for children and parents, housework, gardening, shopping or looking after pets.

Providing personal care

A person may need help with bathing, toileting and dressing while you are caring for them. There are aids or equipment available to make bathing and going to the toilet easier.

If treatment means the person has trouble with incontinence (accidental loss of urine or faeces), talk to a continence nurse or physiotherapist about exercises the person can use to strengthen pelvic floor muscles or about protective bed covers and pads. You can also call the National Continence Helpline on 1800 33 00 66.

Some carers feel uncomfortable providing personal care, particularly for their parents or adult children. The person with cancer may also prefer that a professional helps with these tasks. To find out how to arrange visits from a professional, talk to a social worker on the treatment team or call Cancer Connect on 13 11 20. You can also review the person’s insurance policies to see if they provide any benefits that may help with home care services.

Often it was the little practical suggestions that were the most helpful – such as getting a foam wedge to help my husband sleep.

Anna

Long-distance caring

Some people live away from the person with cancer. You may feel guilty for not being closer, and you may feel you are the last one to know about treatment and care.

Living away from the everyday care may give you a different perspective on the situation. In some cases, this could help you solve problems or coordinate care more effectively. If you want to stay involved, there are many things you can do.

• If someone else is the primary carer, ask what you can do to support them.
• Create a local support network. You could start by connecting with relatives and friends who can visit the person regularly. You can also talk to a social worker on the treatment team about arranging volunteer and paid care workers. Call Cancer Connect on 13 11 20 to find out what support is available in the person’s local area.
• Consider using websites such as Gather My Crew to coordinate offers of help.
• Keep an up-to-date contact list of the health professionals who are looking after the person with cancer.
• Use technology to stay in touch. Options include email, blogs, text messages, video calls and social media apps.
• Ask the person if their health professional will allow them to record consultations so you can hear what was discussed, or see if you can join the consult by phone.
• Set some money aside so you are prepared if you have to travel suddenly.
• Create an emergency care plan and give copies to the carer and emergency contacts you have nominated.