Cancer Hub
Services offered
Cancer information
Financial support and information
Emotional support
+3
Overview
It’s helpful for children to know why and how cancer treatment is done, and about possible side effects.
There are different ways to share this information. You can use stories, games, images, and music, as well as having a conversation.
This section has tips on how to explain cancer treatment to kids of different ages, and how to answer common questions.
What’s on this page
Cancer treatment can be challenging for the whole family, but children and young people often manage better when they know what to expect.
Providing children and young people with information about the treatment, why and how it is done, and possible side effects can help them understand what to expect in the weeks and months ahead.
How much detail you provide will depend on the child, your values and your cultural background. While you may not be able to say exactly what will happen, you can promise to follow up and keep your children updated.
Outline the treatment plan
- Let the children be your guide as to how much they already know and how much they want to know about treatment.
- Start with questions such as “Have you heard the word chemotherapy?” or “Do you know what radiation therapy is?”. Then explain the basic facts using language they can understand.
- Check if your kids want to know more, and let them know that they can ask questions throughout the treatment period if they have other queries or concerns.
- Talk to kids about how to search for trustworthy information online.
- Keep children up to date with how long treatment will take and the length of the hospital stay.
- Explain who will be taking care of the person with cancer and the different ways the carers will help
I knew that my hair falling out might be very traumatic for the kids. I invited two girlfriends around to help shave my hair off and involved the children in a self-indulgence day. There was lots of laughter, the children got involved in the shaving, and then we all put on make-up and did our nails.
Explain side effects
It’s important to prepare children for treatment side effects, such as weight changes, fatigue, nausea, scars and hair loss. Explain that not everyone gets all side effects. People who have the same cancer and cancer treatment will not necessarily have the same side effects. Doctors can’t be exactly sure what will happen to each person.
Tell your children what side effects to expect, based on what the doctor has said, and how these may change how you look or feel. Talk about ways your children can help you deal with the side effects (e.g. help shave your head or choose a wig). These actions make your children feel included and useful.
Children should know that side effects usually go away after treatment. Hair will grow back, scars will fade – but this often takes time. Reassure your children that they will get used to the changes. Point out that you’re still the same person as before.
Explain that side effects do not mean that you’re getting worse. It’s common for kids to get upset when they see the effects of the drugs, which may include fatigue or vomiting. They may worry that the treatment is making the cancer worse or that the cancer has progressed.
If there are no side effects, reassure them that this doesn’t mean the treatment is not working. If side effects mean you can’t join in usual family activities, make sure your children understand that it doesn’t mean you’re not interested.
Explain to them what side effects are considered normal. This can be especially important for older teenagers who might worry about when they should call for help.
Creative ways to explain cancer and its treatment
A range of creative methods can help explain cancer treatment and explore feelings without talking. You can adapt these suggestions for different ages and interests.
Make up stories and play games
Blow some bubbles in the air to represent cancer cells and challenge your children to pop these cancer bubbles by jumping, slapping or stomping on them. You can explain to your children that the treatment is “popping” the cancer cells, just like they are popping the bubbles.
Visualise it
Draw a flow chart, map or timeline to show the different stages of the treatment plan. Throughout treatment, you can look at the chart together to see where you are up to.
Say it with music
Listening to different types of music together or getting kids to make up their own music could help kids imagine the impact of different treatments. (e.g. using percussion to represent destroying the cancer cells).
Keep a journal
Keeping a personal journal or diary can help older primary school children and teenagers to express their feelings. Some children may prefer to write stories or poems.
Draw feelings
Ask your kids to draw what they think cancer is or how different treatments work. Their artwork can show a lot about what they understand or are feeling.
Hospital visits
A visit to hospital can seem strange and confronting for a person of any age, but children’s fears may be worse than the reality. Reassure them that hospitals are special places where people are given good care. Ask your kids if they want to go to the hospital or treatment centre. Some hospitals may offer a tour for families. If children would prefer not to go, don’t insist on them visiting.
Preparing for a hospital visit
If children are keen to visit the hospital, tell them what to expect and what they may notice: the equipment; different smells and noises (e.g. beeping); how you may look (e.g. connected to tubes, a drip or catheter bag full of urine hanging on the side of the bed); doctors and nurses might keep coming in and out to check on patients.
Let your kids decide how long they want to stay. A friend or relative could take them out of the room if they feel overwhelmed. Your kids may want to help by getting you a drink or magazine from the hospital shop. Small children tend to get bored quickly and want to leave soon after arrival. Bring art materials, books or toys to keep them busy. Or you could simply watch TV or listen to music together. After the visit, talk to them about how they felt and answer any questions they have.
If you have to travel for treatment and your children are unable to visit, you could use video calling on a mobile phone to communicate.
Ask the doctor to explain anything that is confusing or unclear. The nurses and social workers at the hospital are good sources of information. You can also call Cancer Connect on 13 11 20. Once you have an understanding of the treatment, you may find it easier to explain it to your kids.
Answer questions about treatment
Does treatment hurt?
Does treatment hurt?
For younger children: “Cancer doesn’t always hurt, but if I have pain, the doctors will give me medicine to help make it go away.”
For older children and teenagers: “The cancer treatment may cause me pain. The doctors can give me medicines for pain, but I might have good days and bad. I’ll let you know if I am having a bad day.”
Why do you look so sick when the doctors are meant to be making you better?
Why do you look so sick when the doctors are meant to be making you better?
Often people who have cancer look perfectly well when diagnosed. It’s only when they have treatment and the side effects kick in that they start to look sick. This can be hard for children to understand.
“The doctors are using strong medicine to kill the cancer, but the medicine affects good cells as well as cancer cells. Some days I might feel and look sick, but this doesn’t mean the cancer is getting worse. I will start to feel better when treatment finishes.”
Will your hair come back?
Will your hair come back?
"The doctor says I may lose my hair because of the chemotherapy. If I want to, I can wear wigs, scarves or hats until it grows back."
Does radiation therapy make you radioactive?
Does radiation therapy make you radioactive?
A common fear among children is that they can become radioactive by touching you after radiation therapy. With most types of radiation therapy, this is not possible. Your doctor will tell you if you need to take any precautions.
“Radiation therapy is like an x-ray. It doesn’t hurt. It’s safe to touch me."
Why do you need to rest so much?
Why do you need to rest so much?
Children often can’t understand the exhaustion you may feel after treatment. They may resent you not doing as much with them.
“The treatment I’m having has made me tired and I need to rest. Let’s make a plan for what we’ll do on a day I have more energy and perhaps today we can do something quiet like watch a movie.”
Relevant support
Read cancer information
Trusted cancer information for all people affected by cancer
Need to talk to someone?
We're available 9am - 5pm, Monday to Friday (excluding public holidays)