Overview
Living with cancer may change how you connect with your partner, family, friends and others around you.
There are ways to approach difficult conversations and cope with sadness, guilt or grief in relationships. You and your loved ones may find counselling or support groups helpful.
What's on this page
Living with advanced or metastatic cancer can affect your relationships in many ways. It may change how you connect with your partner, family, friends and others around you. Some relationships may grow stronger, while others may feel more complicated at times.
Talking to others
Many people find it hard to know what to say after a diagnosis of advanced cancer. You may feel pressure to explain your situation, answer questions or reassure others.
You can decide what you want to share, who you want to tell and how much detail feels right for you. Some people prefer open conversations, while others share information only with close family and friends.
When you don’t feel like talking
There may be times when you do not feel like talking about your health. This is okay. Some ways to deal with this include:
- let people know when you need sace
- use text messages to avoid repeating information
- ask someone you trust to share updates
- change the subject when you need a break.
How to deal with unwanted advice
It may seem difficult dealing with unwanted advice from friends and family. People may try to help by offering advice or suggesting so-called “miracle cures”. You can tell them that you are making decisions based on discussions with your medical team and prefer not to receive advice. You can let them know other ways to support you, such as cooking a meal, helping with daily tasks, or spending time together.
Parenting and family life
If you have children or teenagers, you may worry about how cancer is affecting them. Many parents find it hard to know what to say.
Children often cope better when communication is honest, age-appropriate and ongoing. Giving them opportunities to ask questions can help them feel more secure.
It’s also common to feel sadness, guilt or grief about changes in your role or family life.
For more information, see Talking to kids about cancer.
Sex and intimacy
You may lose interest in sex, or feel that any visible changes make you less attractive, or worry others will reject you. Fatigue and stress can all affect relationships and interest in sex.
These concerns may feel difficult to talk about. You may find talking with your healthcare team, GP, psychologist or counsellor helpful.
For more information, see Sex, intimacy and cancer.
Support for carers and family
Family members and close friends of people with advanced or metastatic cancer may also be dealing with their own emotions and challenges. They may feel worried, tired, scared or unsure how to help.
If you are a carer, it’s important to look after your own wellbeing too. Support might include counselling, support groups, practical help, or taking a break when needed.
For more information, see Caring for someone with cancer.
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